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As a Seanachaidh or Tradition Bearer of the Highlands, one of the customs that I do my best to keep alive is Handfasting.
Hand-Fasting probably draws from Scandanavian Christian and pre-Christian practices and was popular in the 15-1600s. It was a form of Betrothal. Some historians have interpreted this as a trial marriage of a year and a day. It may have been so in some places in the Scottish Borders. In the very remote parts of Scotland, Handfasting was also used by village elders to marry a couple (legally) until such times as the Priest would come to the village and perform a religious ceremony.
In a HandFasting, the hands are bound by The Ban', rather than by rings. Perhaps the couple would also Jump the Besom or over the campfire, which was popular in the Highlands. Under older Canon Law, public figures, other than priests, would sometimes perform the handfasting: Blacksmiths, Seanachaidhean (like me), Clann Chiefs and so on. This was a legally recognised practice. The law changed in the 1600s allowing only church ministers to perform marriage.
For a detailed historical account of Handfasting see MedievalScotland.org
This is a common question I am asked. Yes, it can be, is the answer. Details are at foot of page Marriage legalities, but first read on to find out about this ancient form of marriage ceremony and whether it's for you.
In more modern times, the binding of the hands has been used more often as part of the actual marriage ceremony, although pictured to the left
is Tony and Kristy's simple
~ Samantha and I tailor make each ceremony around you, the couple, over many weeks of preparation. This allows you to bring in ideas not normally catered for within religious ceremonies.
~ I am one of the few people in Scotland who offers a handfasting ceremony that draws from Scottish tradition.
~ I have trained for many years in the practice of holding ceremony, be it naming ceremony, weddings or seasonal. All are about creating a good space, energy or atmoshpere. That is the most important thing that I offer - a ceremony that you and your guests are engaged with.
~ Those who ask for us to marry them generaly don't have any specific religion in mind, although that doesn't preclude it. Indeed, we have performed ceremonies for Pagans, Catholics and the non-religious.
Steph Bridge, 2008 "I wanted a more personal touch to our ceremony rather than just the registrar which can be quite impersonal, and I feel that Handfasting is a spiritual joining, which I like the idea of without it having to follow one specific religion, which neither of us do."
The ceremony is conducted by either myself or both of us if you have asked for male and female celebrants. We welcome the guests and stand or seat them in a circle. We welcome you, the Bride and Groom, into the circle of your people. I speak some words of introduction about marriage, your families, the choice of day or choice of ceremony location in Scotland, if these are special to you, perhaps some old Gàidhlig poetry or prose on the theme of marriage. Then we begin. The guests are invited to 'set a ground' of ceremony, perhaps by contributing words of their own through readings, perhaps by appointed people representing the Four Elements. We ask who will support you in your marriage - like guardians. You give your verbal declarations to each other, or vows, written by you, explaining why you want to marry; what you are asking for from the relationship; what you appreciate in the other. I call for the Ban' to handfast you by, introduce its symbolism. I call for the Besom (An Sguab), so that you may jump it and begin your life together. A family member welcomes you once you have crossed it, or perhaps Samantha, as a married woman. You leave the circle and walk around the outside of your people, then are welcomed back into their circle. The details are of course, special to you, and indeed, the above is not a set format, but rather a typical structure that we, together, create to your desires. A ceremony lasts about 40 minutes (from guests-in to Bride and Groom out).
PLEASE NOTE: This a FULL Wedding ceremony, not a form of entertainment, re-enactment or a simple "Celtic Blessing" after any other faith-based ceremony (including Humanist). We only perform a Handfasting ceremony on its own or in conjunction with a CIVIL marriage.
"Dear Sam and Scot, Just a note to say how much we enjoyed the Handfasting you performed for the marriage of our daughter Suzanne to Tony on the 10 October at Duns Castle, we found it a very moving ceremony. Carole and Steve Eaton" 2005
As an extension of the marriage vow, many couples like to reaffirm their commitment to their relationship. This requires ceremony, of course! Such a ceremony is not greatly different from formal wedding and can include many of those elements. As in some ways, a renewal is a bit like wiping the slate clean and being married again for the first time. I have performed a renewal ceremony for those of a Catholic faith also.
Above, a surprise Renewal of Vows ceremony for Amy (she looks surprised, yes?) arranged by her husband of 10 years, Ed, in a beautiful woodland location on the bonny banks of Loch Lomond, October 2006.
"Scot - Thank you so much for such a unique & beautiful way to
celebrate our 10 yrs of marriage & 19 years together. For
once in my life I was speechless, which anyone who knows me
can tell you is a rarity. You told the story of our lives
together with such feeling it is something we will always
cherish. The gifts we used in our ceremony were beautiful
as well, thank you & your wife for taking the time to craft
them for our special day. We will be tying the Ban' on our
bedpost, sweeping out our home regularly with the Besom &
drinking from the Cuach every year as advised. We will
remember this for the rest of our lives. I cannot express
our gratitude enough. Don't be surprised when we come back &
celebrate our 20 yrs together with you as well. Amy & Ed Rusewicz"
For more renewal photos see Photo and Audio page
| Home |
| Master of Ceremonies & Storytelling |
| HandFasting & Renewal Ceremonies |
| Venues National Trust for Scotland |
| Photos & Audio |
| Gifts & Favours |
| Highland Dress |
| Fees |
| Contacts & Links |
www.ansgeulaiche.co.uk |
To quote a recent groom on why he chose a handfasting:
"Marriage by registrar is about the relationship between the couple and the state rather than the relationship between the husband and wife."
Which leads us on to marriages with one or more foreign nationals. Britian is unfortunately becoming increasingly difficult to get married in if you are not a British Citizen. There are ways though, involving a civil marriage, sometimes abroad, followed by the spiritual marriage, with family and friends, officiated by someone like myself, in a beautiful Scottish Castle, perhaps. It works rather well and is quite common. So if you're going through marriage visa stress, then you're not alone! Samantha and I can help.